On January 1, 2018, 9:59 p.m., I sat in my mother's living room blank. This was rather strange for me because while I don't usually write new year resolutions, I usually know what I wanted to achieve. But not this year, I was broken and empty, I began to do the only thing my mind could process...pray. This was the exact prayer I said that night (I wrote it in my phone).
"I have started this year on "E". I have no goals, plans or expectations. The only thing I have is my hope. More than ever, however the next few months of this life manifest itself, I will be sure and confident that it is the Lord's doing. I belong to you and no one else Lord - do with my life what only you can - to your glory and honour."
It was a few days after this prayer, I found out I would need to do surgery. You can read about this experience in the blog entitled "My experience with Fibroids and learning about Endometriosis".
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
I locked my hair 4 years ago because I personally like locks and its convenience. I have been wanting to lock my hair since I transitioned from permed hair to my natural roots but my mother kept saying no. I waited a few years until she finally said yes. FINALLY! LIBERATION! ECSTATIC! GLAD BAG BUSS! I loved my hair, it grew quickly and beautifully.
So a few months ago when I was convicted that I have reached that time in my season of preparation where my locks will be affected, my entire image will be affected. I knew it was the Holy Spirit but I didn't know the reason. How does sporting locks affect ministry and my relationship with Christ? I hesitated and ignored the gentle tugging in my Spirit.
"But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering." 1 Corinthian 11: 15
While I was at Bible Study on a Saturday in May, that popular passage of scripture came up and the teacher spoke about what ever state our hair is in, ensure that we treat with it correctly because it is our covering. I left that meeting trying to convince myself that I don't need to listen to that "inner voice" because I treated my covering well. I was still very uncomfortable.
A few weeks later, I was leaving work when a Rastafarian called out to me,"Empress, Rasta Queen!"
I responded with a pleasant smile, not wanting to confuse him and as much humility I could muster up that I was not a rasta, to which the gentleman looked at me from my head to my toes in disbelief. I dress modestly, I don't wear make up and I had locks...surely I am a Queen...just not a Rasta Queen. He went on further to say that I was like a goat in sheep clothing...wearing locks and looking like something I wasn't. His words hit me like a ton of bricks. I was affected for days and while I was closer to making a decision, I was still hesitant.
In that same week, I was browsing casually through facebook and encountered a blog written by a sister in the faith. While I browse through her blog, my fingers felt numb as I read about 3 different women who also felt convicted to remove their locks. The Lord lead all 3 women into various ministries after. I read each individual story slowly and repeatedly.
One of the sisters wrote,
"Many times the Spirit of God speaks to us, directs us, but because of our personal desires we ignore the gentle promptings much to our own demise. I have learnt a few lessons from this experience but the one that overshadows them all is that our spiritual growth and deliverance are wrapped up in our willingness to obey God. Obedience to God is crucial and it is a requirement for a successful Christian walk. Blind obedience I call It because we obey even though the picture is still being painted."
Another sister shared that,
"A woman’s hair is described as her glory and her covering. What I was sending out in the atmosphere was that the Rastafarian culture was my covering. Since it was my covering, I was receiving everything that came with it."
The third sister shared that,
"He (Holy Spirit) also revealed to me that where He was taking me spiritually required a distinct mark of identification as a child of God. One that would not imply that I am confused about who I am in God. Individuals would see my locks and immediately think that I belonged to the Rastafarian community and my spiritual call did not need that confusion."
At that point, I knew what I needed to do and I made the appointment the following week to comb them out. I can confidently say that I don't know the plans of the Lord for my life but I know that whatever it is, I am still in preparation mode and I know I that my desire is to exhaust this one life for His glory. We have said it repeatedly that obedience is better than sacrifice but do we really understand and believe that?
As I have shared earlier, I do believe that this is the will of the Lord for me at this time. I pray and hope that whomever reads this will be encouraged in their Spirit to do whatever the Lord is convicting you do. Our vision of our future is limited, let us trust the wisdom of a God that never changes and his plans for you and I is to prosper us and not to harm us but to give us a hope and future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Romans 8:28-29 -
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestine to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren."
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| Shantana without locks :) |
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| Shantana with locks |
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